Pouring My Heart Out

Mungkin ini ada hubungannya juga ama siklus bulanan ku atau emang akumulasi dari masalah2 saatnya harus dikeluarin dari kepala.

There's just something, something di kepalaku. Yang aku ngga bisa utarakan ke siapa2, bukan karena ngga mau tapi karena ngga bisa. Serasa ada ganjalan di dalam...and I really really need someone yg bisa bantu aku buat jelasin. Seseorang, cowok or cewek, yg bisa ngertiin. Someone who can help me to figure it out and lift this burden up.

Aku kesepian. Bukan secara lahiriah. Ada banyak orang di sini yg bisa aku gedor kamarnya to keep me accompanied. Just someone, who can make me feel comfortable enough to bare it all. All me, inside of me. I need someone whom I can talk heart to heart with.

Not my parents, they are far and instead of helping me out, I would just gonna add up their problems. I have screened all my friends but none of them that I feet I wanna share my feelings with. They are super nice but they can't go through me. None of them. I feel like I am wearing this mask to play cool and behave in any forms to adjust to my surrounding but it's slowly tearing me apart inside. I dunno how much longer this should go on, or else, think I will be getting a mental breakdown soon.

Perasaanku campur aduk, semua kejadian yg ada beberapa hari ini rasanya terlalu cepat. I'm overwhelmed by just everything. Pengen sekali ta keluarin, tapi apa itu.....aneh

Apa yg disebut 'Quarter life crisis' emang ada, apa ini salah satu gejalanya?

I just tried to call my parents, but the phone card wasnt working, greattt...
and no...im not gonna break down, not now.