Sitting alone here....

in my 'temporary room' trying to figure out what I really want in my life. Is it true that I have been grateful for everything? Have I felt satisfied enough?

Life is not as simple as I thought or is it me who has made it complicated for myself?
This fear always haunts me everytime I meet new people and exchange our thoughts about reality. So many people with so many goals that they want to achieve in their lives which most of them seem very appealing to me yet I am not sure if I have set my goals on the right track nor have I been on that track yet.

I feel so much alone right now. Longing for someone who actually will be around to comfort and support me endlessly. Someone who can block my ears from all this noise surround me and whisper the things that can make me stand up tall on my feet.

I miss my Zijlweg Girls like mad....Niken especially. Strange how we could build such a bondage within just a few months. A unique girl with a heart of gold which I will never able to be like one. I miss her laugh, her madness over Charlie, her childish jokes...

I even miss Smelly.

Wondering how much have been left for me that are worth to fight for.